


Shadow

by idrilhadhafang



Series: The Broken Edge Deleted, Extended and Missing Scenes [33]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Engagement, Gen, M/M, Parallels, Uncle-Nephew Relationship, indirect grandfather-grandson relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 13:19:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12059805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Vader has cast his shadow over Ben's life in many ways.





	Shadow

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author's Notes: This definitely turned out pretty Ben-centric. Hope it still works.

_Age four:_

Ben's four years old when he meets Darth Vader for the first time. 

It's just a vision, of course -- it's just something that even as Ben puts his lightsaber together, beaming with pride, he sees. A tall, hulking, dark-clad man, his eyes black as a sky without stars, holding a red lightsaber. His breathing is heavy, rasping, and Ben backs away into Uncle Luke. 

"Ben?"

Ben turns around, and he won't deny that he's terrified. He's shaking, trembling, and off to the side, he hears Master Naris remark, "What is wrong with that youngling?"

Luke looks sternly at Master Naris. "Give Ben a moment, please." He turns back to Ben, his face softer. "Are you all right, Ben?"

"It -- it -- " Ben can't describe how horrifying it was. Words like that don't come easily to a four year old. "It was a really scary man, Uncle. He was coming to get me."

"Well, he's not here," Uncle Luke says softly. "And if he comes after you again, I'll protect you."

 

_Age five:_

It's when he's five that he learns that his scary man has a name. Vader, to be more precise. He knows that Uncle Luke seems to have a different, softer perspective on Vader, while his parents seem to be more disgusted by him. So many confusing things, so many things unknown. 

 

_Age eighteen:_

It's during the trials that Ben comes face to face with Vader again. The last trial, the Trial of Insight. Even as Vader advances from the shadows, breathing heavily, Ben has to admit that he is afraid. But he can't afford to be afraid. No matter what's coming at him, he'll stand his ground. 

He draws his lightsaber, the blue blade shimmering in the darkness, ready to take on this illusion no matter what it throws at him. 

 

_Age nineteen:_

It's after Milara that the nightmares continue. Awful ones too. They're the sorts of nightmares that have Ben dreading going to bed just because of how terrible they are. Nightmares about the masked man with his face fading into Vader, or committing more atrocities, things like that. He wishes he could talk to Poe about them, but stars, what would Poe think of him? He'd probably hate him, even if it was for things that happened in dreams. 

Mostly he tells Poe that he has nightmares. Poe understands, even if he seems confused that Ben won't tell him what they're about. He listens, and tries to offer advice as best he can, even with the shadow of two masked men hovering between them.

 

_Age twenty:_

When Ben's twenty, he tells Uncle Luke, among others, about his relationship with Poe. 

It doesn't go well. In between Uncle Luke accusing him of making the wrong decision and Ben trying to defend himself, Ben leaves the meeting with his uncle feeling worse than when he came in. He's already angry, and coming home to Poe, he ends up acting moody during dinner before Poe asks him what's wrong. 

"It's my uncle," Ben finally says. "He doesn't trust us..." And he ends up telling Poe everything about what happened, beginning to end, before Poe holds him tight. 

"He doesn't understand us," he says. "He doesn't see how wonderful you are and how much you deserve. And you deserve so much, Ben..."

Poe's touch unclenches his body, and Ben feels himself relax into it, his anger dissipating for the moment. 

 

_Age twenty-two:_

It's breaking the news to Uncle Luke that he and Poe are engaged that Uncle Luke actually looks worried. Then he says, "Ben...are you sure that you're not rushing into this?"

"I am," Ben says. "Uncle, I love him."

"I don't deny it." Uncle Luke runs a hand through his hair as he speaks. "But you're very...rash, you're headstrong -- "

"Does that really matter?"

" -- and your decisions are pretty heavy ones."

"Do they have to be?" Ben laughs, and it's strained. "Uncle, I'm so tired of being treated like a living minefield. Can't I just be..." 

He trails off. He isn't sure what, exactly, he wants to be. 

"Be what, Ben?" Uncle Luke's voice is soft. 

"Just a regular being. Like the whole galaxy isn't on my shoulders."

Uncle Luke smiles weakly. "I want that too, Ben. Believe me. And I know you love Poe. I just don't want you making the wrong decision."

"I won't, Uncle." Ben says. "I won't."

But of course he won't make the wrong decision. Why wouldn't he? He loves Poe. How could that be the wrong decision?

How could any of that, any of that at all, be wrong? 

 

 

 

 


End file.
